Andrade, PacificCoastNews.com

Birthdays are a funny thing. Every year we each get one, but why? Is it a chance for others to rejoice in our existence? That somehow Earth became a better place when we were born?

The theory certainly seems logical. That is, until we spotted Heidi Montag celebrating her 22nd birthday Monday with lesser half Spencer Pratt in such an obnoxiously staged fashion (eating cake without utensils? Come on!) that we were reminded how these two will do anything for a photo op, even tarnish a cherished tradition.

Hmmm, come to think of it now, maybe birthdays are simply a way for us to celebrate having survived another 12 months of  Speidi.  

Jeff Lipsky for MTV

What would a week in gossip be without some kind of contribution from Heidi Montag? Fortunately, this isn’t a dilemma we have to face very often.

Within the past two weeks, Heidi has given us “Overdosin’,” followed by a wonky music video and then a grocery store adventure complete with strategically placed melons. And this week, she gifts us with yet another new single. A few more and we’ll have enough for a greatest hits album.

Her latest attempt at music is called “Party’s Wherever I Am.” It’s not as unpleasant as “No More” yet not as awesome as “Fashion.” (Wow, we didn't even have to Google that—we have an encyclopedic knowledge of every Heidi track. Someone help us.)

Enjoy her new single below, or don't. Either way, there'll probably be another new one next week and you'll probably be able to find it right here.

Gaz Shirley, PacificCoastNews.com

Yes, the world's biggest boobs, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, are notorious for using every waking moment of their overly exposed lives as constant photo ops.

Which is why we put you on the case, because this picture is just too much fun to ignore. Martin is the author of the above caption, but you guys outdid yourselves for this bosom-buddies shot. Enjoy.

Darryl: "If only these were brains."

Taru: "And they're seedless too!"

ftw froggy: "Spencer, are you listening to me? Spencer? Spencer?"

Grace: "Dr.Rey, I think I want this size."

SpeidiGate: "This is how Audrina must feel."

Jake F. "Honey, just stuff 'em in your shirt and walk out of the store real naturally. No one will notice."

Diane: "Is this why they call it The Hills?"

UPDATE: Turns out we were right. Due to technical difficulities, this isn't quite the breathtaking work of art Heidi had envisioned. Heids just released this statement: "I apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced when trying to view or download my 'Overdosin' video. We have experienced an error and are working to correct it as soon as possible." We're sure the real music video will blow us all away.

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The highly anticipated music video for Heidi Montag's "Overdosin' " is finally here. But it doesn't look quite right. And not just because it features Heidi Montag, but because it's 10 minutes of slow-mo aerobics. Could this really be the masterpiece Heidi intended?

We actually thought this video was going to be a little bit better than “Higher.” At least, the pictures all indicated a higher production value. And yet we couldn’t make it through the whole thing, so we can’t even promise some big payoff at the end (we suspect there’s none). If you do happen to make it all the way through, let us know if it was worth it, and if you don't, let us know how far you got.

In case you miss Heidi’s manic arm waves as much as we do, we’ve included the classic “Higher” after the jump for your convenience. It’s actually kind of refreshing to watch it after “Overdosin’ ”—brings back the good times.

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James Breeden, PacificCoastNews.com

After all The Hills drama, Heidi Montag just wants to work it out.

In the new video for her song "Overdosin'," the Hills honey plunders the pop-cultural past for inspiration.

And the ploy works, if only because she swipes from big cheeses such as John Travolta, revisiting his iconic Saturday Night Fever dance moves while dressed in Olivia Newton-John's "Let's Get Physical" leotard along with a pair of Flashdance-worthy leg warmers.

So what do you think: Do you like her in Lycra—or did she flunk her "Physical"?

(Remember, people laughed at the "feel the burn" awesomeness of the Jane Fonda workout, too.)

Rankin

Last year’s Jordache ads featuring Heidi Klum were so successful, the company invited her back. And since she was coming back, why not design some jeans, too?

That’s how a special 15-piece collection designed by the supermodel, Heidi Klum by Jordache, will make its way to stores everywhere this fall. But looking at this ad that accompanies Heidi's designs, we gotta say there’s something very familiar about this look.

What could it be? Oh! We remember…

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MTV/Jeff Lipsky

The Hills girls, their unimpressive guys and Speidi fights are all back in our lives—let us rejoice! This season promised some serious drama with that mascara-stained trailer, and we certainly got our hopes up.

But like so many times before, after a holiday spent in front of MTV and the sorta boring episode, we were filled with both disappointment and the desire for more Hills. Ah, the show’s maddening secret to success!

The L.C. tearfest wasn't in this episode, but “on this season of The Hills” promises it's still coming, along with Audrina taking off her top (she wouldn't!), more Heidi and Flesh Beard battles (really, guys?) and a possible peace treaty between Lauren and Heids (aw, they miss each other). So maybe something interesting will happen?

Tell us your favorite moment from last night in our poll after the jump.

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Andrew Shawaf, Kevin Perkins PacificCoastNews.com

It was cute when Heidi Montag declared she would be the ScarJo to John McCain’s Obama and then McCain responded by saying he never missed an episode of The Hills. But we had hoped that would be just a one time jokey-joke thing.

Sadly, it’s not.

Reality TV’s biggest publicity whore spent yesterday power lunching with McCain Blogette, or as she’s more formally known: Meghan McCain, daughter of the Republican presidential hopeful.

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